


Hell Is...

by 5ofSpades



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adult abuse, Brief mentions of child abuse, Cannibalism, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Illustrations, M/M, Starvation, crack treated like crack, slavery and many other such things from this galaxy far far away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 67
Words: 14,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21929002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ofSpades/pseuds/5ofSpades
Summary: People favoured by the Force are never gone. But what of regular people?Featuring the adventures of General Hux (on the run) and the confused Ghost of Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) in illustrated technicolor.+ company.+ random unrelated afterlife musings.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 766
Kudos: 472





	1. x - Season’s Greetings

“What?” Hux shielded his eyes from the flaky halo not far from his bed and the much brighter city lights streaming through his window. He was sure he’d shut his curtains before bed.

“I’ve been assigned to be the Ghost of Christmas Pa…”

“Oh bloody hell Ren! It is bloody,” Hux looked at his bedside clock and screeched, “Bloody. Three. A.M. In. The. Morning! I’ve just been discharged from the hospital a week ago! I have remote work in the morning! Why can’t you go haunt someone or something else? Your folks? The nice young couple upstairs with their fat yippy one eyed corgi? The condo mailbox? Lots of mailmen to scare around this time of the year.”

“Ugh,” said the ghost of Ben Solo.

“UgghHAHH!” Grunted Hux first in annoyance then pain as he borrowed back under his pile of blankets and oblivious snoring cat.


	2. Debt of Gratitude

“WHAT?”

“WHAT???”

“WHAT????”

“Why do I have to help him? That yellow-bellied backstabbing traitor?”

But is this not the man whose actions were instrumental in bringing you back to the Light? 

“NOOOOOOOOO!”

But is this not the man who had risked everything, including his life, for these actions?

“No listen you fragging stupi…”

But a debt such as this must be repaid. And he yet requires your help, scion of Skywalker.

“AAGGGHGHHH! That two-faced sniveling weasel has nothing to do with the Light! He only cares for himself! And he has plenty help. Look he even has his little pet officer with him.”

But this is your undeniable task. You must do this to fully return to the embrace of the Force.

\--

The ghost of Ben Solo felt his non-existent blood pressure rising, and with it, roused the ever tempting pull of the Dark. Hux always did bring out the worst in him. Anger, violence, pettiness, jealousy, covetousness, the list goes on.


	3. x - Other People

“Where? What is this place?” The apparition that was once Ben Solo and Kylo Ren looked around himself at nothing, and through his translucent fingers at the gray beyond. Gray, gray as far as the eyes can see. He had expected the finality of death, unworthy of the Light as he had been. A life for a much brighter life.

“Hello Supreme Leader.”

The Force ghost whipped around to face the source of that quiet sneer. It’s been a while since this particular voice carried such a mocking tone. (Ren almost missed it. Ben cringed.)

“Well, well, so you did not last long by yourself after all.” The pale thing with transparent skin and faded hair sniffled at him. The sallow face held twice the distain and none of the fear. After all, what was left for this dead to fear, if it’d never feared for the integrity of its eternal soul in life? It waved its skinny arms at the murky world all around them, “Care to elucidate us laymen not trained in the hocus pocus mystical arts on how to get out of this blasted place?”

When Kylo Ren had just started his apprenticeship under Snoke (when he was a puppet caught in another puppet’s strings), he had come upon an ancient text speculating on the great beyond. People favoured by the Force are never gone. But what of regular people? Were their presences in this world less worthy? Their energies insignificant? Do they only leave behind names and deeds and gravestones and then finally nothing at all? The text drew from customs and tall tales and old religions. It talked of the cycles of life, holding places for souls, and was of no help to Kylo’s training. He read through the tome once and never revisited it again. Maybe he should have paid that book more attention.

Kylo Ren looked at Hux’s familiar face, unfamiliar gaping torso and faded legs, and cursed the Force which had tormented him all his life for playing yet another cruel joke on him in death.

Ben Organa Solo looked at the dead soldier and was relieved that he did not have to face his family yet. A life for a life. How many lives would Ben have to give, to make up for all the lives lost at his hands?

\--

**Bonus:**

“I can’t believe my last attempt at making Ren lose actually led to Your victory, Ben Solo. What was the point of it all when instead of blissful rest I end in eternal torment stuck here with you!”

“Ren. It’s Kylo Ren today.” Ren pouted. Being with Hux was not conductive to his connection to the Light. The reopened scar on his face itched.

“Oh kriffing hell. Kriff off.”

\--

**Bonus 2:**

“It’s a dead cat.”

“Yes, and she is ever so sweet.”

“It’s a dead cat that’s trying to squeeze into the hole in your chest.”

“Just look at her. I’ve decided, Ren. I will name her Millicent, after the little rat I’ve tried to keep in my closet. My father stomped the poor thing to death when he found out.”

“Don’t call me that! And it’s staring at me with those burning eye sockets.”

“No doubt finding you lacking, Mr. whatever you are calling yourself today. Don’t you Millie my darling.”

To his discomfort, Ben found Hux had become both bolder and more open (haha, open) in this afterlife. He even laughed sometimes, and not the creepy First Order Officer Laugh either. Somehow the mass murdering war criminal (just like Ren) felt both younger and, dare he say, free? As if invisible shackles have been removed one by one from those skinny limbs. As if a tight shut box had been opened to reveal a truncated heart.

I wish I had known him sooner, before everything, Ben thought to himself.

Kylo Ren was secretly glad the cat might prove a distraction to the dead general, who had started to recite The Complete Inventory of Things That Ren Had Destroyed on his beloved Finalizer a while ago out of pure boredom. They have been hiking through this lackluster world forever. A journey without destination. But what else was there to do other than picking a random direction and march on? At least his wish for Hux to shut up once in a while was finally granted via the chance meeting with this cat.

At least I feel myself grow stronger little by little, Ren thought to himself.

The dead cat simply settled down in her new perch and purred.


	4. Kriff

“KRIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!” Hux dropped his face onto his gloved palm and hissed loudly.

Mitaka (no longer a lieutenant) and Opan (no longer a captain) both paused. 

“General? Are you alright?” Asked Mitaka tentatively. Was it the injuries? Side effects from the cocktail of medications? One month straight rations of protein and carb bars now finally supplemented by cheap local tubers cooked in increasingly creative ways? Poor Millie was so agitated too, puffing up to twice her actual size and hissing in distress.

“Please be at ease Dopheld. A mild headache and nothing more. And as I have said before, there are no more generals here, just a fugitive relying on your charity and assistance.” Hux straightened in his seat. “Do not let me hold you up. Mr. Opan as well. I am not yet an invalid, and will be fine resting by myself a while.”

Opan saluted the ex-general and marched out. Mitaka shuffled after, glancing behind himself all the while. Poor General Hux. Forcing himself through the evacuation while so wounded. And despite bandages still stained pink and yellow every night, he nevertheless bravely took the reorganization and provisioning of straggling First Order survivors onto thin shaking shoulders. 

Ah the survivors, so few survivors. The majority of his graduating class. Right bastards every last one of them, yet all their cunning and resourcefulness were for nothing in the end. 

They had so many exit routes planned, but who could have foreseen the resurrection of a terrible, greedy ghost? Or the horrendous design decision that left an entire fleet sitting porgs with the destruction of two mere communication towers? Was this what the Empire really was all about? What they had fought for all these years? Killed and bled for all these years? The lies and ambitions of bitter, controlling, yet incompetent old men who did not give a damn about their children? 

Mitaka was a condemned man. They all were. Yet all of them too cowardly to die and too selfish to face the consequences of their combined actions. So they ran, and ran, and ran, and will run to the edge of the galaxy if they have to. And they will fight, and kill, and bleed along the way all over again if they have to.

**

Hux listened for Opan’s marching steps and Mitaka’s much more timid footfalls until he could hear them no more. He glanced at his cold tea sitting tepid in an old chipped cup, looked down at poor Millicent who had taken to hiding under his chair, and gave a long suffering sigh. The wound on his chest twinged. Hopefully nothing serious was reopened.

The tired man robbed his eyes, looked up, looked away, robbed his eyes again, and questioned his own mental state. More rest and solid food than he ever saw after the mess of Starkiller and Crait, and yet here he was, hallucinating. He was not mad and senile yet. He cannot be. A mad and senile man would soon be a useless and dead man under these circumstances.

But there on the table Ren sat in fuzzy sleepwear, glowing the glow of the dead with a sullen glower on his crooked face.

“Damn it Hux! Stop pretending I am not here! It’s been one and a half months! I know you can hear me you weasel! What are you and your sycophants plotting now?” The specter demanded.

Perhaps he was both maddened and aged by his cursed life, Hux thought bitterly, for he found himself answering the air, “To survive, Ren. We are plotting how to survive the aftermath of YOU.”


	5. Fish Heads

“I thought you got far more credits than this squirrelled away? You had at least thirty different blasted coats at the last safe house.” Ben looked over Hux’s shoulder at what appeared to be a lackluster fare of fish head soup. “Yet here you are, the once proud and oh so organized General subsisting on this swill.”

“I’d like to see you plan around the hijacking and subsequent total collapse of your people at the hands of a dead man, Ren. I had more than sufficient funds at hand for myself plus one accomplice and a cat, not for this entire blasted band of ever growing stragglers. And I’ll have you know I make excellent fish head soup. These are very fresh fish heads, very nutritious with fatty brains. It is a traditional delicacy.” Hux huffed in a quiet but no less irate voice, mindful of the napping ex-petty officer next crate over. He then ignored Ren in favour of trying to spoon out more meat for Millicent.

“Oh please. Just because you can’t afford the rest of the fish. There is barely any solid protein in this.” Ben scrunched up his nose. The soup actually looked rich and creamy up close. It might have even smelled nice, but that’s beyond Ben’s abilities now. The eternal Jedi afterlife was overrated.

“If you are so pressed for credits, why not ditch them? Save all your stolen goods for yourself then disappear? When did you become an altruistic saint? Looking after cripples and the feeble minded.” Ben gestured at the room (cave, it was a cave) in general, and one ex-petty officer Thanisson in particular.

“Do you truly have nothing to do with your afterlife, Ren? Oh gods I am talking to my own hallucination. What am I to do, Millie?” Hux looked down to address his cat, when he received no answers from the heavens (cave ceiling) above.

Ben tried to shove Hux on the shoulder in frustration, only for his entire hand to go right through. “No! I am stuck here! I’ve been telling you for the past few months that I am stuck here! Just like I’ve been telling you for the past few months to call me by my given name. And you didn’t answer me.” The hastily set up overhead light rattled. The scar on Ben’s face reappeared (again) and started to itch.

Hux pointed his spoon at Ben to shush him, “Stop that. You are going to get dust in the soup. And I am not running a charity here. I am doing this to better my own chances. In case you haven’t noticed, I am currently both crippled and going mad, seeing how I am still talking to you.”

Hux ignored Ben for good when Thanisson woke up and spilled soup all over himself. Had anyone told Hux a year ago that he would end up a cook and nursemaid for his subordinates, he would have sent them to reconditioning (or seethed behind their backs, depending on the person’s rank).

He needed men (someone somewhere once upon a time said they needed children) and can’t afford to alienate the survivors who still deferred to his authority. He just didn’t expect so many to follow him so literally (the number of functional ships at hand after Exegol was sadly limited, to put it politely).

\--

“You’ll attract attention, a group of stiff ex-military all together like this. I’ll enjoy your screams when the locals catch on to what you are.” Ren whispered in Hux’s ears later at night.

“Too bad I missed what were no doubt the most pathetic screams while you died. Once we have a clear head count and better sorted assets, we will delegate group leaders and disperse as independent teams. I am not an idiot Ren. And don’t give me that crap about being Ben Solo. Own up to your own actions.” Hux bit back at the ghost floating on top of his bunk (more crates).

“Go kriff yourself Hux. My passing into the Force was peaceful and dignified! You are the one that’s yappy. And, and you don’t even have enough people to delegate.”

“Kriff me yourself Ren. Oh wait, you can’t, you are dead. Now Go Away.” Hux hugged his cat closer, rolled onto his side, and pulled the blanket over his head.

\--

Note: Hux was very sorry to see twenty eight of his beautiful coats go. Pawnshop owners were bloody leeches, no matter which port and species. But he needed Bacta and real food. They all did. And kriff Ren, who was obviously a figment of his broken imagination, for insulting his mother’s recipe.


	6. Deaf Heaven

Hux screaming to the heavens (muffled with cat) for it to take Ren back (for his sanity back). He never asked to be Ren’s jailer in his personal purgatory (special privileged spoiled brat even in death. A personal purgatory. Ha!). 

(He never asked to be powerful Force users’ rag-doll, bitter old men’s whipping boy, inaugurated into an army at five, birthed as a bastard to that monster. He never asked for any of this, yet neither was he willing to lie down, stop, and rest. Forward, forward, forward down this river of blood. He’ll leave more of other people’s bodies behind him yet before this madness consumes him.)


	7. Shopping Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Farewell year of the pig.

“Never knew you were such a petty barterer, General.”

“Ren, I’ll have you know I am an excellent negotiator. How else do you think the Order was able to afford Starkiller in so short a time. But of course such mundane things are beneath your holiness.”

“I thought the Order built Starkiller on the backs of slave labour and stolen resources. And wasn’t requisitions also beneath you, General?” Ben sneered at Hux, who was trying to juggle extra packages and his crutch all at the same time. 

It was a dingy planet the ex-FO troops have landed on this time along their randomized winding route out of the Unknown Regions into Wild Space. The planet held no notable natural resources, small dispersed population, one official port, and spotty holo-net access at one port café only. Ironically the planet’s lack had spared it from the attentions of both the Empire and the Order (and the Republic as well, that bloated, self-important, ineffective force for good). Some locals still think the Old Republic was in power. What a remote and backwater place. Hux must have felt the same, to venture out to this small market alone without any of his minions playing bodyguard.

Hux pocketed the newly purchased packages of herbs into his cloak and sneered back at Ben, “Slave labour? Take care not to slander the loyalty and dedication of First Order officers and troopers, Ren. And do you see a requisitions team about us? Do you?”

\--

If the others were slaves, then what was I? What was I?

\--

Ben looked at the newly slaughtered, well spiced, honey covered, crispy skinned roast boar and sighed. “I am the one who did all the work but can’t even get a single bite? And stop flirting with the locals, Hux. You are going to attract the wrong type of attention.”

“Says the useless hallucination to the man who shot the rampaging boar. It would have looked far more suspect for me to reject their hospitality after all that. Maybe you should have stayed alive, Ren. Then you could have played the hero and bothered all the local girls you’d ever want. Whereas I on the other hand, am keeping proper distance like a humble and respectable officer.”

“Pffft. Respectable my ass. And don’t be so full of yourself Hux, I helped you aim.”

“My aim was perfect.”

His aim was off. The bolt should have glanced off the beast’s thick skull instead of hitting it in the eye. It was charging towards him so very fast. And he stumbled (Curse this lingering limp. Curse his mottled lungs. Curse the untimely treatment. Was he to be a weakened cripple for life?). But why would the Force, should it even exist as the so fabled greater power, direct its cursed favourite son to accompany a beaten bastard dog?

\--

Hux accepted the gift of half a hide leg and a well-marinated heart, as was the local tradition for a beast slayer and protector of the community. The ex-General’s entire entourage was greatly impressed (they each got one bite).


	8. Hucks the Explorer - Sand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ex-FO General Armitage Hux, 36, hates sand.

“General!” One of the ex-Stormtroopers called out from the back of the line.

“Report. And for the last time, stop calling me that. Sir will suffice.” 

“The wind, it blew poor Millicent into the air!”

“What?”

“But I managed to grab her, Sir. Poor dear, she must be traumatized.”

“The wind blew our emotional support officer into the air,” Hux deadpanned. “Are you hallucinating, unit KT-1138.”

“Do you want some of my water now?” Mitaka offered, holding out his canteen. “You are carrying more weight, and we will refill soon, at the market.”

“Thank you for the water sir. Should I hold on to Millicent? General, Sir?”

“… Fine. Whatever. Just put her into your backpack, KT,” Hux rubbed his temple, a migraine rising. “Next person who fails at cat-sitting duty and lets her sneak out of our temporary base will have their rations deducted.”

Somewhere in the Force, invisible to mortal eyes, Ben whistled to himself. Sure he opened the cat carrier. But how can you blame him for her escape. The little beast was surprisingly fast for its impressive mass.

“Meow,” said the cat, who was mostly floof, not fat.


	9. ex - Kiss a Ginger Day

In which:

The Supreme Loser snoozes and loses.

Ex-General Hux is overworked, suffering from damaged lungs, a lame leg, and wondering if he is going insane with hallucinations of a very persistent ghost. 

Everyone sends their love.

And Millicent is doing her job. An exemplary emotional support officer.


	10. Pests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello year of the rat.

“Hux, your cat is useless.” Ben pointed at the rats scurrying around their new accommodations (a bunker inside another cave, so boring).

“Ren, you know Millie is not strictly my cat. She is our group emotional support animal, a job which she excels at. Don’t you dare slander her.”

“Pffft, the First Order? Emotions? Support? Was this the same organization I was a part of?”

“Shut up Ren.”

\--

They ran out of cat kibbles, canned fish, and canned chicken (the cat ate better than them all; but all had agreed she deserved it, as the cat was definitely the main reason why the General hadn’t shot anyone or himself yet). The local market carried plenty grains, root vegetables, and spices (not the type you smoke), but no meat of any sort (the natives bore long faces with mouthfuls of flat teeth like grind stones).

Millicent finally awakened her more primal instincts (instead of her usual instincts to knock things over and sit on people’s faces) and gobbled up a rat. KT-1138 was extremely distraught to find the half-eaten head on her pillow.

\--

KT-1138, overenthusiastic and overoptimistic soul that she was (a condition that was worsening by the day now that reconditioning was no longer feasible), forgave Millie very quickly. When offered a free trinket with her bulk spice purchase (again NOT the type you smoke), instead of choosing an ornament for herself, she got a stuffed animal for the cat to chew on.

A good choice, the charm of the rat, the wrinkled xeno peddler had said to her. May you and yours persevere and prosper wherever life may take you.


	11. Drop

“What did you throw away?” Ben squinted at the smelter. His sense of smell was slowly coming back now. Unfortunately so did light sensitivity.

Hux simply gave him a flat look (the patented ‘Do you seek to undermine me even in death oh hallucination of Ren my subordinates are right there’ look).

_‘Nothing of import. Everything I’ve ever known.’_ Conflicting thoughts flitted through his head.


	12. Hunger

Certain members of the staff were handing out food to local younglings again. Given the group’s unstable finances, they really ought to be court martialed for unauthorized distribution of resources. The key words being “ought to”. Difficult as it was, Hux had since trained himself to be indifferent to such indiscretions. Alas, order, discipline, control, all had long flown out the window and off a cliff after the fall of the First Order (screw the Final Order).

Somehow morale was unprecedentedly high. Hux wasn’t going to look a gift fathier in the mouth.

\--

By the time KT-1138 went from screaming in distress to screaming in excitement at the sight of a rat, Hux didn’t even twitch anymore whenever the group happened to share a primitive meal with locals.

Wasn’t it standard operation to loot the natives? I remember you’d even wrote part of the operation manual. The spectre of Ren had once asked, a poor devil’s advocate over his shoulder.

It was. But cost analysis from Umano, Mitaka, and Hux himself had all rated such operations not worth the ammo, never mind the risk.


	13. ex - Farewell Supreme Leader

In which:

The Supreme Loser is seething.

Ex-General Hux is contemplating the purchase of another coat in light of their slightly improved finances (barely breaking even instead of flat out broke).

Dopheld Mitaka is dreaming big.

Opan is receiving therapy.

And Millicent is doing their job. Yes the only one doing their job.


	14. Sleep

“Armitage, my little star, my little general.”

Ben flinched. It was not his mother’s voice. Yet the tone was full of ever so familiar love. Why now? Why would the Force show him this now? He didn’t care to know this man while he was alive. Why would he bother now that he was dead?

The woman, with her flowing red hair, simple green dress, freckled white hands, and a gaping hole in her chest, simply reached out to her trembling child and smiled.

And Ben, trapped as he was by the grip of the nightmare (or was it the bound of the Force), opened his mouth and screamed.

\--

“Wake up!”

“Ren.” Hux’s eyes snapped open as he bolted upright. “You…”

“Hux. Eh. Fassk. You, well you were grimacing in your sleep, so I woke you up…”

Hux slumped and hid his face behind his hands. From the meagre barrier of his palms he huffed out a quiet barking laugh, “Hah. No Ren, you do not have such charity in your heart, least of all for me. I am not ungrateful for the wake-up call. But for the last time, stay out of my head.”

Hux then flopped back down onto his bunk, drew his blanket up to his face, and gasped in great heaving breaths. “Kriff. Kriff this. Ghosts in my dreams. Ghosts following me every hour of waking. Is this the punishment for all my failures? To slowly lose my mind? A tool broken beyond repair?”

Ben faded from Hux’s small captain’s cabin. From experience, he knew the man would be ignoring his existence for hours if not days.

\--

Another night, another abrupt awakening. The woman’s green dress stained brown with blood. Leia fading with fatigue and resignation etched onto her face. 

He could barely remember her face. He couldn’t bear to face her.

Another night, another choked back scream. An Imperial Officer beating both his wife and maid before turning on his son. Han Solo fleeing his marriage with regret on his face, then falling, falling. Endless falling.

He never wanted to see this man again, not even in his dreams. He could never see this man again, outside of his dreams.

\--

“Do you want me to wake you up again? In the future, if this happens again? I don’t enjoy these particular nightmares any more than you do.”

“...”

“Hey say something. Or I’ll just assume that as a Yes.”

Silence. Shuffling blankets. More silence. Just as Ben was ready to give up and rest for the night himself (habits are hard to give up, even when dead), he was surprised by a whispered “…thank you, Ren.”


	15. Credit

“You know what you are, Ren?” Hux said one evening while charting their next destination on his star maps.

“What? An annoyance? A terror? A mess?” Ben huffed from behind the man’s shoulders.

“All that yes. But I was going to say you make a rather good sounding board to bounced ideas off of. Why couldn’t you have been like this while you were alive?” Hux tapped the air (Ben’s nose) with his stylus.

“While for starters you are no longer actively plotting my murder, being late to the race and all,” Ben bit back, petulant.

“Touché Ren.”

“Wait, go back. Not that route.” Ben pointed at the map.

“Why?”

“Because it’s stupid. That particular cluster is used by Outer Rim slavers and several mining corporations for the exchange of particular goods. Go around it.”

“The First Order had close contact with most of the major mining companies. I’ve never heard reports of such…” Hux scrunched up his brows.

Ben squeezed closer to the map, already eyeing several alternative routes. “Trusted second-hand knowledge. Do you really want to take that risk in this shitty shuttle filled with teenagers, cripples, and office admins?”

\--

Ben didn’t even know what to say when Hux again chalked up Ben’s excellent counsels as hallucinations, and thanked a radar technician instead for alerting the group to dangers surrounding the Bextar sub-colonies. The man was under the “employment” of Dynamic Automata before he ended up with the First Order, and he did talk about hidden slave trade hotspots. But this was simply not fair.


	16. Hucks the Explorer – Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ex-FO General Armitage Hux, 36, hates snow.

Due to the massive losses at Starkiller, the Supremacy, Crait, Batuu… Hux was forced to fast-track the graduation of Stormtrooper trainees, which was then further accelerated under the directions of General Engell.

Hux deeply resented that decision now.


	17. Cabin Fever

“Hux.”

“Hux.”

“Hux. Come on.”

The ex-General stared past the spectre as if he was air. He coughed, a long drawn out wheeze with a wet rattle deep within already tattered lungs. “Excuse me, Ms. Unamo, Thanisson. I’m going to boil more hot water for the herbal tea. It’s almost time for the afternoon dose of our medicine.”

“General, I can…” Unamo coughed into her sleeve before she can finish her sentence.

“Please remain seated and keep your blanket on, Ms. Unamo. The sooner we all get better, the sooner we can resume our travels.” Hux waved her off. He lifted Millicent off his lap and handed her to poor Thanisson, who was in the worst shape amongst the three invalids, and hobbled to the small kitchenette area with his crutch.

Once out of immediate earshot of the ex-officers, Hux whispered through clenched teeth, “What is it Ren?”

“You are ignoring me again,” the ghost of Ben Solo whined.

“Well excuse me if I do not wish to broadcast my mental illness to all my subordinates.” Hux rolled his eyes as he set about filling the kettle with melted snow.

“You know you can speak with me inside your head right? No one will hear you then.”

“Excuse me if I do not wish to leave the rest of my thoughts wide open to a dead man.”

“Ha! So you do believe I am real!”

Hux slammed the kettle onto the stove in answer.

“Are you running out of Bacta?” Ben poked at the tin of tea leaves left out on the counter. Hux certainly was running low on tea.

“We are saving it for greater emergencies. Rationing? A foreign concept to you of course, Supreme Leader.”

“Have that assassin of yours look for a plant growing at the root of the tallest trees. Trifoliate obovate leaves, clusters of small red berries. Dig for the roots and boil them.”

“Thank you for your concern Ren. But I will not be drinking random roots dug from the frozen dirt. I am not that desperate for tea.” Hux frowned.

Ben frowned back, “Not tea. Red Panax. You want to get a move on out of this frozen hellhole, and I am sick and tired of hearing you three coughing up your innards. Might want to keep an eye on that little mousey aide of yours too. Think he is catching what you have, sticking his face so close to yours all the time.”

“Red Panax…” Hux shook his head and stared at his tea. Did he just contemplate humoring a spectre of his mind? Poisoning himself with vegetation that might not even exist. “This cannot be real, I am feverish after all,” he mumbled.

Ben slammed his palms onto the table. “Kriff Hux! What else do I have to do to prove I am real? I am trying to help you here. Either find the Panax or use your Bacta. You are going to destroy your lungs! I’ve lifted things right in front of you and your subordinates, saved your life multiple times, talked with you about things you don’t know. You can’t just chalk it all up to hallucinations or unusual natural phenomena! You know the Force is real! You’ve been talking to me, confiding in me… I am real and right here Hux!”

“…if you were real, Supreme Leader, I wouldn’t be so familiar with you, and you would have choked me to death by now…”

The cup, the tea pot, the whole kitchenette rattled. At the center of it all, Kylo Ren’s countenance was thunderous, the old scar cracked across his face as blood seeped out from flared flesh. 

Hux reared back and flinched in reflex. When he looked up again, the ghost was gone.

\--

Thanisson (who was the most expendable and had a strong sense of self-awareness. Why did they even bother to save a minor officer on medical discharge from a lynch party?) bravely volunteered to test the Panax roots.

Mitaka was greatly impressed by the depth and breadth of his General’s knowledge in all things, even herbology. Opan and the ex-Stormtroopers dug a lot of holes and did a lot of pulling.

The ghost came back as Hux took his first tentative sip of the Red Panax tea. To give you proper dosage instructions, you ungrateful, stubborn, stupid weasel, it said.

\--

The extra roots too green to be dried and preserved fetched a decent trade at the nearest town, so Hux was mildly pleased.

Trade One:  
One ex-Stormtrooper, TC-2139. Fortunate enough to be stationed away from Exegol, unfortunate enough to be chased down by angry locals, separated from his company, and sold off-world to slavers. Now bartered for as general labourer stock. Extremely obedient but a bit sluggish and slow, no doubt the side effect of one too many enhanced reconditioning wipes exacerbate by the less refined methods of slavers. Quite scrawny too, with cheap prosthetic corneas. A field tech perhaps? But he was giving Hux’s old sniper rifle a second look. Ren laughed at Hux, pointing out the boy’s lank ginger hair. Won’t have to feed this one much, and what an excellent cannon fodder for possible future emergencies. 

Trade Two:  
By far the more useful trade, several old hyperdrive components. They might manage to bash together a serviceable replacement to fix their broken hyperdrive after the jump away from Exegol. The locals didn’t even realize what they were, selling them as novelty necklace pendants.

The leaves also made decent tea, but you won’t catch Hux thanking Ren for it, who was definitely a figment of his fevered mind, confusing trivia gained Maratelle’s encyclopedia collection for advice from a dead man.


	18. Former Coworker: KT-1137

“Well done, KT, for protecting us all from the looming threat of the New Republic.”

She pulled the trigger almost on reflex when the General ordered her to fire, just as she’d always done. Following orders.

KT-1137 used to hot bunk with her. They left each other small gifts in their shared space, found during their missions and hidden away from their captains. He said the Republic would save her, she was just following orders. And the new government will make the officers pay for what they have done, every last one of them.

But why? What did she need saving from? Ms. Umano who pulled her from the broken shuttle and shared her rations with her? The General who gave her new directives in this strange new life? She was doing just fine. And if the officers must pay for what they have done, when they were just following orders too (HX-0000, she saw his tags glinting bright before he dropped them down a smelter), wouldn’t she also have to pay what she has done? She doesn’t want to, KT thought as she stared at 1137’s once boyishly handsome face, now forever frozen in shock and surprise. 

\---

“So, perfectly conditioned? Absolute loyalty to the Order and its General? Trivial to recover and reintegrate scattered Troopers? First FN-2187, and now this? And who knows how many others?”

“Shut up Ren. I was never involved with the FN units’ training. I was merely a junior cadet at the time myself. The KT units were trained by… someone else… and even the best system could produce outliers. KT-1138 and the others are still performing as programmed. Even that broken TC unit remains loyal despite being obviously traumatized by time spent with savages.”

And I, I still function.


	19. Night Watch

“Why don’t you ever go bother someone else?” Hux asked the spectre at his side as he idly played with Millie’s paw, their camp lit by nothing but bioluminescent insects and faint starlight.

“You are the only person who can see me. Force nulls, Force sensitives, even the dead Sith and Jedi, I am barred somehow from communicating with all of them.”

“Then what am I? Your personal purgatory?”

“… yes, my personal purgatory.”

Hux made a sound not unlike a cut off chuckle and looked right through Ben to the night sky above, “Ah Kylo Ren, if only you could see this rabid cur now. Is this why you spared me from execution and only stripped me of all my powers? So you could laugh at me now, wherever you are, as I drive myself mad amongst my former troops? All of us unraveling from order and discipline without the benefit of periodic reconditioning?”

“Hux…Please… Stop this.”

“Oh, it has learned to say please. Talk with me hallucination. I need to keep awake through my watch, and I am so very tired. Oh don’t look at me like that. You know I won’t just stop. I never learned how to.”


	20. Current Coworker: Techie

Unlike KT (or was she Kaity now?), TC-2139 was badly afraid of General Hux. Sure he smiled and praised them now (rarely), shared special rations with them (necessary), and even let them hold his cat sometimes (a rare reward, TC loves that cat. How can anything be this fluffy?). But the smiles didn’t reach his eyes, the praises sounded tired and rehearsed, and sometimes TC swore he could hear General Hux arguing with the air. Who knows when the unstable General would discard him for consuming more resources than he was worth? TC was jumpy, scared of loud noises, and can’t even stomach shooting at people from afar anymore (where he won’t feel the warm spray of their blood, smell the stench of leaking organs or burnt flesh). All those years of training, completely wasted.

TC sucked on the glabra gummy Kaity gave him (why would a regular person even eat this? No wonder Mitaka gave them all to the ex-troopers) and carefully pried open the third malfunctioning blaster scheduled to be fixed that morning. His specialization wasn’t really in weapon repairs. He was more of a field networks and communications unit. But he’d better expand his skillsets before they resell him for wasting precious shuttle space.

They had three shuttles with dubious hyperspace capabilities now. Patched up pieces of junk traded from spacers and xeno scavengers. Since they no longer held proper military shifts anymore (crowded patched up pieces of junk), instead of hot bunking, everyone who was not the General got squeezed into shared bunks or onto the floor (the General got to share his bunk with the cat). TC lucked into getting an actual widened bench to sleep on, with a tool box jammed underneath for his meager belongings (belongings! He owned non-monochrome clothes now! How exciting). Now if only his bunkmate wasn’t so loud. And so sweaty. And so, so… built. At least he was warm when the primary heater malfunctioned.

Ugh, thought TC as he stuck another gummy into his mouth. Maybe his bunkmate will eat these. No sense wasting food.


	21. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Beach Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Now in true Anime tradition)

Sensible long sleeves + discount swim shorts, Stormtrooper wetsuits, sassy wildlife, and disappointment.


	22. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Dress Up Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The General’s New Coat.

Step 1: Sell fish  
Step 2: Acquire clothes from thrift store  
Step 3: ~~Profit~~ We are broke again

Ben: Why did you get that cane? You could have provisioned clothes without patches or holes for half the team for the price of that cane.  
Hux: I’ll soon be able to use it. And it conceals such a handsome blade.  
Ben, looking at Hux’s bad leg that was not getting worse, but definitely not getting better either: ???


	23. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Hot Spring Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They say the minerals in these waters sooth even the oldest wounds.

  
KT: OMG I wish I was Mitaka and Opan, at the same time.

Ben Solo: OMG pass out and drown Mitaka and Opan, at the same time.

Umano: FFF!!!

Hux: *is finally mildly relaxed*

Millie: *is always relaxed*

\--

  
Foreign traveler and haunting spirit in private backyard of inn suite.   
One evening from the forever vacation for the rest of their (after)lives.


	24. x - Kyluxpositivity 2020

**Day 1: Benarmie - 2 Babies 1 Stone**  
In which Snoke receives instruction from the future to send a certain Cadet Hux on a suicide mission in order to eliminate two of the greatest instruments of the Final Order's failure in one fell swoop.  
  
It didn’t work. Obviously.  


\--

**Day 3: Touch Starved – Right Through**  
After realizing Hux was still alive, the slippery weasel, what was left of Kylo Ren tried to visit him. Hux who always understood Ren for what he was.

The part of him that was Ben Solo thought it was a very flawed course of action and bluntly told Ren so.

For have you forgotten Master Luke’s teachings, just like how you’ve forgotten our mother’s smile? No matter how powerful a Jedi was in the Force, they cannot converse with Force nulls from the afterlife.  


\--

**Day 5: Millicent’s Birthday – Woosh Foosh**  


\--

**Day 7: Thinking of You – Gift of Socks**  
What are your dreams made of, o'enemy of mine?  
Now that all your old manufactured ambitions dashed.  
And in front of you unfamiliar possibilities, a life made anew.  
Do you ever dream of me?  



	25. Skywalker

“Kriff! Hux. Go hide!”

“What?”

“Rey is here! Why is she here? Kriff!”

Before Hux could protest further, he found himself dragged stumbling towards an alley with a most unwelcomed yet familiar sensation. One which he hadn’t felt since... How? He was so sure… Why would the ghost of that man haunt him of all people…? Why are there even ghosts??!

Opan, thankfully a man of action and very few questions, chased dutifully behind him.

\--

Please Force, let her see me and only me.

\--

“Your face?” Rey frowned at the apparition before her. 

“My face?” 

“The scar, it came back. What are you doing here, Ben?”

Ben paused in surprise as he felt his own face. A thin line across the right eye that he knew extended all the way down to his shoulder. When? When did it come back permanently? Never mind that, he needed to distract Rey long enough for Hux and his pet assassin to slip away.

“Sight-seeing. Visiting places I’ve never been, getting to know people I’ve never paid proper attention to while I was alive.” Technically the truth, don’t slip, don’t let her notice. “What are you doing here, Rey?”

“Travelling, looking for lost Jedi temples. Teaching myself so I could have something to teach those who come to me for guidance.”

“Lost Jedi temples. I trust you won’t be following their teachings exactly?”

“Not to the letter, no,” Rey glanced at the two engagement bands adorning her finger and smiled.

“Well in that case, I wish you the best of luck, Rey Skywalker.”

\--

“The scavenger talked to you.”

“Yes.”

“You used the Force on me again.”

“Yes. But only to help, Hux.”

“So all these months?”

“Yes I have been real all along Hux. Do not doubt the Force.” Please don’t be afraid of me.

Instead of shrinking back in apprehension, Hux puffed up like an angry cat, “All these months… All these month! You’ve been watching me eat, watching me sleep, watching me and all my subordinates bath??? You Republic degenerate! Jedi scum! You, you creep! Poor Ms. Umano and KT at the hot springs! Were you peeking in on them back then as well?”

“What?! No! Why the kriff would I want to peek at Umano’s rectangular ass when you were in the next pool? Hux! Hux wait! You are going to trip if you walk that fast! You forgot your crutch!”


	26. Remembrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Force that is in all the universe hmm? Yet the universe was never fair, was it? I will never speak with either of you again.

“Home decorating General? Are we getting complacent?”

“This is one of my most remote and personal safe houses, Ren. Unregistered on any First Order record. Paid for with physical tokens instead of traceable credits. We’ll be here a while. Upgrading the prosthetics for some of our younger members. Partial Bacta immersion for my lungs. Now go away Ren. Or does privacy mean nothing to you.”

Ren leaned over Hux’s shoulder to peek at what appeared to be a litter altar. “Ah, good old Phasma. Who is the other woman?”

“None of your fragging business. Go away. And stay out of my head.”

\--

Everything you’ve worked for, Grand Admiral, stolen and corrupted by the very same old men we both despised. I was too stupid, too weak. Too useless. I am so sorry, Grand Admiral. Even now I have to rely on the charity of Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, that twice damned Republic spawn. If only you could appear to me too, Grand Admiral, tell me where we should go from here.


	27. Rest Stop

Thanisson was glad to walk properly again. Surprise evacuations were so much easier (and more dignified) when one’s not carried over a shoulder like a sack of taters.

TC-2139 took Hux’s old rifle with permission and tested out his new corneas on the local bird population. One of the radar techs built a mud oven, and the result was quite delicious. It was obvious why the boy must have underwent enhanced reconditioning so many times. Too much initiative yet too timid at the same time, too tentatively friendly. Cried and smiled too much. Along with KT they’ve both got themselves named. It was starting a worrying trend amongst the remaining troopers. Some had even came up to Hux asking for a name! The nerve (never mind that Hux had accidentally named Kaity himself, he did). Also did Hux ever eat that much when he was their age? (He would have, but there wasn’t enough to eat.)

Ironically, Hux himself was stuck with a mild limp (not severe enough to warrant prosthetics or invasive surgery) and a light wheeze (they waited too long for proper treatment. At least Hux was never much of a smoker).

\--

Ben Solo was initially quite upset at how Hux, upon finally realizing he had fooled himself for months with his own denial and prejudice against the Force, closed up like an embarrassed clam.

A few uncomfortable months passed on the hidden estate. With improving fortunes, health, and an actual bed to sleep in for an extended period of time, said clam had relaxed and morphed back to the weary weasel. Not nearly as unguarded as before and definitely more angry, as if the whimsies of the Force were all Ben’s fault. But still, a vast improvement.


	28. Hucks the Explorer – Local Fauna

Babysitter Hux and the great Sarlacc pit.

AKA the great philosophical debate over whether a Sarlacc can get drunk.


	29. Hucks the Explorer – Local Festivals

Merchant Hux (yes just a travelling merchant not an ex-military junta leader on the run pretending to fit in at all, at all) and the great pea mashing festival.


	30. Stock

“Ships??? Weapons??? Non-FO standard artillery??? And is that? That’s Kyber crystal!” Ren yelled at Hux. “I thought you’ve only put away enough stolen funds for fancy jackets and a safe house or two!”

‘Enough funds until I can reach my stashes. My real stashes. Can’t be hiding them too close to the Order’s patrol routes or general civilization. Dear Dopheld did such an excellent job. All on his own shore leave time too. And don’t remind me of my poor pawned off jackets please, Ren. Likely I’ll never see them again.’ Hux thought at the ghost in lamentation, mindful of the ex-staff and troopers moving goods around them.

“So this is what you were trying to reach. You weren’t running. You were trying to shake off possible tails.” 

‘Technically it was both. The unforeseen setbacks caused by limited transport and temporary loss of lightspeed capability were extremely unfortunate.’

“When did you set this all up? Siphoned away all these funds from the First Order? This can’t be the only cache you have. You must have been at this for years!”

‘Not quite so many years Ren. I was allotted wages during my years of service you know. Didn’t get to spend much of it back then. Didn’t have the need. And I did not steal from the First Order, but the monster it mutated into under you Force users’ thumbs. Should have never left me with all that free time on the Steadfast, most respected dear Supreme Leader.’

\-- **A few hops away on another remote planet** \--

“And this is your stock as well?” Ren hissed in the ex-General’s ear, anger barely held back.

“Not at all. These are in fact General Quinn’s. May the poor man rest in peace.”

“What?”

“Also the only reason why Trach is with us still instead of dropped into a Sarlacc pit at the first opportunity for his waffling loyalties. And to think I took him along when you so kindly reassigned and demoted me. At least he was good at picking up useful details from gossip.”

“How many? How many of you were thieving traitors?” Ren pointed an accusing finger at Hux’s head.

Hux didn’t even bother to look up from the inventory in his hands. “Thieving? No, no, more like taking. Snoke allowed a certain level of… extra incentives. And you, Supreme Leader, was a piss-poor leader who didn’t give a damn about the organizational and financial side of things. So the answer is many. Most of the older command staff in fact. Some had been at it for longer than we were born. Did you know General Engell had multiple grand properties in the Mid Rims? And how much her bank accounts grew after you gave the Stormtrooper program to her? Sold off the prettier children to stuff her already fat coffers. All likely confiscated by the Republic or looted by locals now, alas. As for traitors? Well we have the biggest traitor right here, Ben Solo.”

And I, I was far from the worst offender. Had I thought more for myself rather than the Order, I would not be pawning off jackets for food, running short of medical supplies, storing away substandard ships.

But I was young and stupid. And the old Imperials. The old Imperials were never burdened with the programming they’d so gladly used to leash their own children.


	31. ex - Tub

In which:

The team take care of their personal hygiene.

Except for the Supreme Loser, who is in no position to take a bath.


	32. ex - Archaic Information Record and Relay Device

  
In which: 

Ex-General Hux has just discovered books.

The Supreme Loser is bored and taking up Millie’s spot on the bed.

\--

Ben: You are think about stealing books from the local library!

Hux: …

Ben: You are! I know that look!

Hux: Shut up Ren.


	33. ex - Patrol

“How are you so skittish? You were a Stormtrooper!”

In which a radar technician doesn't understand mental trauma (and FO standard conditioning drug withdrawal, but then said radar technician is recovering from his own withdrawal of a slightly different cocktail without even noticing).

And in which elsewhere Hux is trying to beat the last of his withdrawal by chugging hot space mint chocolate. And nope, Ren is still there in all of his frumpy, unwashed ghostly glory. Not a hallucination. Not a side-effect from coming down from drugs. A man hopes in vain.

Ren points out if Hux is hallucinating about men, then knowing the ex-General, at least the objects of his imaginations would be topless and partially clad in some unfashionable combination of regulation uniform and leather. Hux refused to talk to the ghost for three days and a half after that conversation.


	34. Reintegration

The survivors from the First then Final Order were many. Finn did his very best in spearheading the outreach programs. Kindling sparks that were there all along inside many hearts, helping the lost find the flames to light their torches in the dark. Families were reunited, lost sons and daughters gently reintroduced to their tearful parents in hopeful reunions. And the scattered Republic banded together once again. Each star shining anew on a brand new map, paving the road forward.

The Damerons tried. The New Republic tried. The many affiliated states and planets also tried so hard. No one could blame anyone for not trying their best.

\--

But what of grown children whose families were no more/forgotten/never wanted them anyway? What of sons and daughters who had looked inside for that spark promised by so many others, and found nothing? Empty blankness with not even ash? And who was to chide already stretched communities from turning away the scattered remnants of their former oppressors? To question struggling people who have already spoken with one free voice to push the burdensome rehabilitation of ex-child soldiers onto their neighbors, and their neighbors, and then the neighbor next door over, on and on and on?

Hux didn’t really have to try very hard. The lost little war dogs found their way to him all on their own, tails a wagging behind them.


	35. Hucks the Explorer - Local Commerce

In which a local arms dealer and a traveling arms dealer both pretend to be upstanding peace-loving businessmen.

\--

“The young lady is rather, armed,” said the shrewd merchant to his red-haired visitor.

“Pardon my…niece. She has been overly interested in firearms and self-protection ever since her experience with kidnapping as a child. What of the young man who is accompany you?” Both the man and the young woman standing guard behind him smiled. One sly as a fox, the other bubbly and sunny, both slightly unhinged.

“Ah yes my nephew. An outstanding young man. Very concerned about his poor old uncle’s well-being.” The merchant said with a straight face.

\--

“Your jinn, is it for sale?”

“Jinn?”

“Not a jinn then? A specter? A poltergeist? I am so very sorry my friend.”

“Poltergeist?”

“Ah yes. Many species lack the ability to see the condemned set to task by the greater force. This one is a large dotted dangerous looking fellow. Must have left the mortal soil with much to atone for. Wonder what he’s done in life. Manslaughter? Patricide perhaps? Ah now he is hissing at me.”


	36. Spokesman

Mitaka putting his academy education to good use.

Ben appalled at Hux carrying a thermos of hot water to steep tea during ground operations.  
Ben appalled at KT-1138 drinking slurpy with toast.  
Is no one taking this seriously? Did Hux assume Ben would help back up Mitaka while everyone else is eating lunch? Mitaka?


	37. Hucks the Explorer – Local Cuisine

In which Ben realizes, much to his delight, that Hux is not a fast learner for everything.

\--

Mitaka: Oh General Hux Oh. Is this a date?

Umano: No.


	38. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Sleepover Episode

Darn kids stole The Cat again.


	39. vs The Guavian Death Gang

“I am so sorry Sir! I didn’t anticipate these outlaws would be foolish enough to go after both the Republic’s reward money and our payment!” Mitaka wailed.

“Stop apologizing and start shooting!” Hux snapped at his aide. “Whose bounty are they after?”

“It can’t be yours, Sir? We were so careful.”

Opan reloaded his clip. “The bounty is indeed not for our General. Current authorities still think him dead. The bounty is likely for your head, Mitaka.”

“WHAT? It couldn’t have gone up again!” Mitaka yelped.

“Number one of your graduating class. Named officer on the Finalizer. Close aide to General Starkiller. Remembered by merchants for ‘aggressive haggling’ when purchasing ex-Stormtroopers. Alleged culprit in interrupting the public hanging of a suspected Order officer. According to our latest intel, some of the Spice lords have started to call you Little Three Winged Hawk after you cleared out that Pyke warehouse and set it on fire,” Opan listed casually between squeezing off a few returning shots. “The local warlords, and by word of mouth the Republic as well, believe you to be the mastermind behind our current known activities. My bad, should have disguised you better. That mousey demeanor wasn’t enough after all.”

Mitaka face was full of disgruntled hurt. “But, but I was just an aide pushing papers. Still am. I do payroll and count inventories! That Spice runner stole Millicent! I had to get her back! The warehouse fire was an accident! I tripped! And I couldn’t watch poor Thanisson get lynched! He was on disability discharge! He wasn’t even part of the fleet anymore. You know I was only the top of my class because the real number one fell down a platform, and number two had an allergy attack.” 

“You pushed number one down that platform after luring him there with the promise of fraternization. And you snuck nut powder into number two’s milkshake while the class was on shore leave. You know I am well aware of your unofficial records, Mitaka.” Hux rolled his eyes.

“But, but…”

“We’ll disguise you in a dress next time,” deadpanned Opan, who was hundred percent serious, much to Mitaka’s dismay.

Didn’t think the mouse had it in him back on the Finalizer. Yet how unsurprising a pest who survived the First Order would have its own bite. Ren thought as he gleefully returned some of the Death Gang’s bolts right back to sender to fulfill his helping hand quota.


	40. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Crossdressing Episode

Mitaka’s new disguise is drawing some eyes.


	41. vs Kanjiklub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Tasu Leech welcomes a new member to the “We hate Han Solo” club.

“Well Red General, as you have survived, and here paying good credits and parts in good faith for the closing of such a lucrative contract, will the First Order ever be back in business? The Final Order, now that was some poor business. But the First Order? Very decent employer. Very fair contracts.”

“I am afraid that is not in our current plans right now, Mr. Tasu Leech. As you have so astutely observed, the Final Order was some poor business indeed.”

“Oh well. Power vacuums are good for business too. A toast to your health?”

“A toast to your professionalism and discretion. Mɑrɪ Bərsulɑŋ, Mr. Tasu Leech. Again our thanks, from myself and my men.”

“Bərsulɑŋ, General. I look forward to what you would do.”

\--

“Now that you have bluffed your way into yet another ‘business’ partnership, and recovered yet another additional platoon’s worth of troopers and some stragglers from the higher valued technical and medical corps, what will you do, General? Regrow your army? ‘Recruit’ more lost brainwashed children back to your dear ranks?”

“Ren, you know as well as I that these men are children no longer, just as we were children no longer. We’d both be laughed out of the courts and right into injection chairs should we plead the troubles of our youths as excuses. Well, an injection chair may be a bit too late for you, Mr. I am now one with the Force. These men rejoined me willingly, gladly. They cannot function in the chaos of what the Republic calls a free society. They need structure, direction, orders. Not to mention away from lynch mobs and off auction blocks. Most of the planets are not filled with bleeding hearts so ready to forgive, especially not when resources are scarce, and the again lawless masses are fighting for scraps.”

“Ha, as if they are so much better off fighting and dying for you.”

“Plenty died fighting in your name. It’d be positively an honour for them to die in mine. And I truly wonder if you have lost all your observational powers along with your brain cells in this ethereal form of yours, Ren. In case you haven’t noticed yet, I have been trying to keep both the fighting and the dying as absolute last resorts. I was promoted for my talents as an engineer and infrastructure project manager, not for frontline command. Excuse me for keeping with what I actually excel at now that our continued existence depends on caution. We are not going to run off with guns blasting against every over-inflated local cartel and god forbid the Republic should they ever bother to venture this far.”

Ben simply raised his eyebrows at the self-coined infrastructure project manager. The man’s hair was getting longer and unruly without ready access to either barber or pomade. The secondhand robe used for sleepwear too loose at the collar and falling off one boney shoulder. His posture was relaxed and almost casual enough to pass for that of a civilian or a budding warlord. Yet the madness and intensity in his eyes as he poured over his data pad was still all General Hux. The man never lost his mind after he’d lost his army. He’s never had a sound mind to begin with.

“What are all those weapon caches and increasing collection of ships for then, if not fighting and dying? You’ll draw attention to yourselves with this growing force.”

“As I have told you before, we will eventually disperse, Ren, into Wild Space. A select few independent but not overly ambitious ex-captains will be given their own reorganized resource procurement teams. Some might even make a name for themselves. They won’t be fully independent of course. That wouldn’t do.”

“So bands of marauding bandits, how fitting. And your own team?”

“The primary team will go on as we have always been. Maybe we’ll even find a friendly local or two who are in dire need of infrastructure projects.” Hux reclined into his saggy sofa. The smile on his face as thin as the edge of a knife.

Ben looked past that thin smile, the constellation of freckles on the exposed thin shoulder, past the now calloused hand stroking the ever puffy cream and orange cat, and questioned the Force. Questioned the directive to help such a man. But deep down he too, was looking forward to what Hux would do.


	42. Former Coworker: General Engell

“There is no way you killed General Engell because of what you’ve told your officers and troopers. For trafficking children meant for the Stormtrooper program.”

“That was part of the reason. Had I retained the authority I was due under your rule, Ren, I would have had her exposed and air-locked long ago,” Hux looked dispassionately at the blood still warm on his gloves. A pity for such a fine pair of gloves, but he had to make a point. “But you are right Ren. I’d be a fool to let someone of former equal rank disturb the perfect equilibrium I have achieved with my current merry band. And now both her flagship and her men are mine to use.”

“You got lucky Hux, that you haven’t sent away all of your auxiliary teams before running into her. Still, taking on a Star Destroyer with such a small contingent. If they weren’t short on ammo and starved of food, even I couldn’t have saved you.”

“Engell came to me when I was perfectly content to leave her alone for now. Always an arrogant one, that woman.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Tch. Go make yourself useful Ren. Root out her loyalists. I could do it myself, but in this case, I’d rather defer to an expert, Supreme Leader.”

“Slave driver.”


	43. Current Coworker: General Engell’s Crew

“Stand down, HX-0000! I said stand down immediately!” Engell stumbled until her back hit the console behind her. Why? Why was the command not working?

“I do believe I may have gone quite a bit malfunctional without the benefit of periodic reconditioning, dearest Amret.” Hux’s smirk stretched wide across his face, and reached all the way to his eyes.

\--

“You, you whelp, you killed General Engell!”

“Captain, I do believe you meant: I am ever grateful to see that you have executed Amret Engell for her misappropriation of First Order resources and dereliction of duty, General Hux, Sir.” Hux said as he gave one last scornful look at the dead woman at his feet.

“Executed? Oh whose authority?” the wrinkled Captain squeaked. “We’ve heard you are a traitor, Hux! And now look at you! Rabid! Non-regulation! No better than space raiders! You have no authority here, you little bastard!”

The officers and troopers who remained standing looked back and forth between their Captain and the tall man with ginger hair, unsure who to follow now that Engell was dead.

“I have food,” Hux deadpanned.

One of the more enterprising troopers quickly put a new hole through his former Captain’s head.


	44. Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hux discovers he has inherited a ship full of liabilities.

“Are they like our new little brothers and sisters? Oh my god!” Kaity (she was a captain in all but name now) squealed, clutching on to Ms. Umano’s arm.

“… kriffing god…” Hux cursed under his breath as his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit residential wing.

Children in threadbare grey uniforms (how familiar, a tiny voice at the back of Hux’s head piped up) huddled closer to one another, shrinking back from the unfamiliar adult faces.

\--

“Far too few older trainees and staff for a ship this size. She really ran this to the ground. And most of the surviving trainees are still too young, practically walking liabilities.” Hux paced in the commandeered bridge, striding around the patches of viscera on the floor. “Yet this could be to our advantage. A touch ambitious, carefully now Hux. But yes, we should still be able to supply and absorb them.”

“Opan, finish rounding up the adults. Ms. Umano, update our inventory. I want a clear headcount. Also initiate medical triage as you see fit. Trach, Tamb, assist her. Thanisson and others, man critical stations. I will coordinate the overall integration operation and personally oversee technical repairs.” Hux barked out over the communicator.

He then turned to the two subordinates standing at attention behind him, “KT, organize emergency supply runs. Mitaka with me.”

“At once Sir.”

“Yes Sir! Can we get some happy space goats for milk? We have extra room now.”

“No KT. For the last time, we are not getting any pet nerfs, fathiers, or space goats. Put powdered milk on the list.”

“Awww.”


	45. Emergency Food

“Is the new General going to eat us too?” The grimy child huddled behind the broken primary climate control console asked in a tiny voice.

“What?” Techie almost dropped his wrench on his own foot in surprise at the question. Matt yanked the skinny ex-trooper behind himself and turned on his welder, brandishing it like a lightsaber at the blaster pointed at them.

“Don’t pretend to be stupid,” another child, older but no less grimy, bit out from behind his blaster. “Other kids disappeared. They weren’t sick. They didn’t disobey any orders. No one came to buy us. We know some of the adults were eating meat. And you are here to round us up for the new General. Back off! Or I’ll put a hole through your head! I am trained!”

“Your blaster doesn’t have any charge,” Matt pointed out matter-of-factly. “And I am trained too. I once trained in the same gym Kylo Ren worked out at, so don’t try anything funny, squeaky. We are here to get full climate control back up and running so you don’t all freeze your asses off.”

Techie slowly opened his fanny pack and spilled its contents onto the floor. Candy bars. “We, we have food. Here. And General Hux is really picky, so I am sure he won’t eat you.” He then tugged on Matt’s arm and hissed, “Stop that Matt. You are scaring them.”

“But they spooked me first!” Matt complained. “Ugh fine. You two, and the snotty one hiding in the back. Either go report to the bridge to get counted or come make yourselves useful with us. We are going down to the bio deck controls next.”


	46. Interlude - Private Time with Ben

Cat time.  


Tea time.  



	47. GOAT

Kaity got her happy space milk goats two months later, when half of the bio deck finally came back online after much cursing, banging, re-routing, and turning everything off and on again.


	48. Interlude - Private Time with Ben 2

Overtime.  


Bedtime.  



	49. Washing Machine

“I cannot believe this. All my engineering degrees only to end up doing this. We are getting an advanced multi-purpose fabricator at the next large port.” Hux huffed exasperatedly as he connected another component to his current project. A modified sanitation unit, for diapers. Why do some of these brats still wet their beds? What was that incompetent Engell doing?

“You could delegate this, you know that right, Hux?” Ben said from his perch (floating) atop the tool bench.

“We are severely short staffed. All the other techs are occupied with getting this ship fully functional. This is my downtime. I’ve ate, slept my required four hours, and am simply putting my other downtime ventures aside for this more immediate and practical little project.”

“You don’t have to keep the kids, if you find them such an annoying drain on your resources.”

“And do what with them? Sell all of them into slavery? Give them the freedom to die as orphans and beggars? Our ex-troopers will probably mutiny if I do that.”

“Or return them to their parents.”

“Ha! Return them to their parents! What just drive around the Outer and Mid Rims and return them to their parents. And have whole angry communities trying to fight us? Reporting us to the Republic? Do I look daft?” Hux huffed as he slammed the panel closed. He’ll get one of the older children to test it out. Most of them can’t quite earn their keep yet, but soon, very soon. Sadly the old Stormtrooper programs were no longer applicable in their current situation. But he’ll come up with something new. He always did.


	50. Space Shepherd’s Pie

Ex-operations officer Carid Tamb had trained the very small group of very small children (the youngest ones died the fastest/were eaten first under starvation) to help him de-kernel corn and shell peas. He’s even managed to get the one three years old to stop putting every other pea into her own mouth.

He wasn’t sure what else the toddler could do, having never been assigned anywhere near the initiation programs. He couldn’t remember what tasks he was assigned when he was three either. His own earliest memories started around five, a correction stick cracking across his outstretched palms, powder dry ration bars that tasted of cardboard, sharp needles leaving behind a row of holes, and motivational holos three times a day, all blending together.

Some of the more insubordinate younger officers (where did they go?) used to blame General Hux for it all. General Hux whose father’s name was tied to the training programs. General Hux whose face was tied to all the newer speeches. General Hux whose ration bars had flavouring. Flavouring!

Tamb carefully layered the corn and peas into the shepherd’s canned nerf meat pie, and thought General Hux really wasn’t as bad as he’d originally thought (still scary though).


	51. What’s in a Name

Techie and Matt adopted Grimy, Snotty, and Hole-Through-Your-Head into the technician team. (Hux had long given up trying to enforce appropriate names onto any ex-troopers. They can call themselves whatever the kriff they want, as long as they stayed mostly out of his hair.)


	52. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Crossdressing Episode 2

Mitaka’s disguise continues to draw eyes.


	53. Hucks the Explorer - Pool

“Nothing of particular interest here, General,” Mitaka reported.

“All the valuables appear to have already been looted, Sir,” observed Umano.

“A bust then. Perhaps we could sell the location of this temple to some adventurous academic types,” Hux mused. Gods they need more credits. Three hundred children. Some soon to be teenagers. They will eat him out of every last single crumb. At least some of the older ones can come along on raids now. Disorganized small-time space pirates and no-name independent Spice runners made for somewhat profitable practice targets. And best of all, no one would miss them.

\-- 

Force-nulls, Ben thought in disdain. Blind to what is in front of them. What the temple was built to worship and commune with remained here all along, long after the disciples had passed and stones crumbled.

The Force was like a great deep well seeping into the beyond. Light and Dark distinct yet existing as one. Ben Solo and Kylo Ren both looked upon the water’s surface, and was not sure who stared back from the reflection.


	54. Hand Holding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ben is finally regaining some sense of touch.

“What are you doing Ren?” Hux hissed in the dark.

“Testing out my recovering command of the Force,” Ben mumbled.

“What, by holding my hand?” What a strange sensation, Hux mused, with his internal analysis forever running in the background. Not warm, not cold, not clammy, nothing like the push and pull of the Force previously utilized by Ren. Not anything really. Just something. Finally something solid there.

“Do, do you want me to let go?”

“Do whatever you want. I am going to sleep.”

|   
---|---  
  
\--

“Can I lie down next to you? You have a big bed.”

“Whatever Ren. Makes no difference to me whether you are hovering above me as usual or beside me. I am going to sleep. Squish Millie and I will find a way to discorporate Force ghosts.”

\--

Give a man a bloody inch. Hux thought in the morning, squished between a Force arm and solid Force pecs.


	55. Holding Hands

“Oh piss off Ren! I am not letting that touch me.”

“Come on Hux.”

“You’ve put your entire arm through a man’s chest and stirred. It smelled awful.”

“For your benefit. And it’s not like any gore is sticking to a Force ghost arm for long.”

“For your own enjoyment more like. Bet you’ve missed that. Hands-on violence. Grasping slippery foul offal and flinging it about. You are coming nowhere near me until I’ve forgotten all about the disgusting sight.”


	56. Former Coworker: A Chief Engineer of Starkiller Base

“Armitage.”

Hux paused. It’s been a long time since anyone addressed him by that name, least of all Ren. 

“I don’t believe we are at this level of familiarity in our acquaintance, Ren.” He projected at the apparition, with extra ire.

“Oh wow Hux, is eating, sleeping, and spending every single second of every single day together not familiar enough for our acquaintance? Seriously. Plus I wasn’t addressing you. Someone in the crowd just thought that, loudly too.”

“Yes, yes. Our combined purgatory is such a nice preface to a delightful, budding, brilliant acquaintance,” Hux rubbed his temple. When he lowered his hand, the gaze that rose to meet Ben’s was predatory, “Who?”

\--

Opan stood near the front door, away from the quick line up to the checkout counter, slowly contemplating the menu hanging above. He would take a few boxes of the sweets to go. But so many choices required slow and careful deliberations. The two pre-teens they’ve brought along giggled as they licked at their newly purchased iced treats, skipping hand in hand to a booth near the only service door.

Hux slid uninvited onto the plush bench right next to an elderly man, crowding him in against the wall. He ordered two sugar drizzled cream cafs with a smile from the wait-droid (funny how only fancier establishments could afford droids this far out from the Core. Organic labour was so much cheaper when lives got cheaper).

The well-dressed elderly gentleman shook in his seat as he noticed himself surrounded.

“Fancy seeing you here, former chief chemical engineer Davees. You disappeared on us, after you know when. We even held a service for you on the Steadfast,” smiled the red haired fox.

“Armitage. I, ah.” The man’s hands trembled even as his body froze like a mouse in the sights of a predator. “Please, I just want a peaceful life. The government here, they gave me a pardon, a wife. I have children to look after.”

“No doubt. A pardon for the invaluable mind and knowledge that helped bring my greatest project to life. You’ve done well for yourself, Dr. Davees.” Hux sipped at his drink. A bit too much sugar, but the caf underneath was excellent.

“Please Armitage, I won’t tell a soul that I saw you alive today. You look well. And you even have children now too. They look happy. They must be yours? We’ll both leave the past be and get on with our futures. I am sure you will have a very bright future, Armitage. I’ve always said you will have a very bright future,” the ex-Starkiller project engineer begged in a whimper.

Hux smiled, “Of course Dr. Davees. Thank you for your understanding. I was only greeting a dear old mentor. You know I couldn’t raise my hand against you. You were ever so kind to me.”

The old Imperial breathed a sigh of temporary relief.

\--

“Come along children, and help Mr. Opan with some of his boxes.” Hux ushered the two trainees out of the shop. (They are not Stormtroopers anymore, yet no one has managed to come up with a new name for what they are. Kids, brats, little angels, unholy terrors, and a lot of other things they were called. Most of the time they were simply referred to as The Children, and listed as such on the staff roster.) 

“These are so heavy.”

“No complaints. You lot will be eating most of this.”

“Yay!” The boy with a bright yellow hairclip cheered.

“…yay… cakes are for babies. This is unpaid child labour,” his friend complained. “I can’t believe I had to hold hands and skip around. This is undignified.”

As the two kids raced ahead with their sweet burdens, Hux gave Opan a meaningful look.

“Mr. Opan. Please.”

\--

Elderly Government Employee and Family Lynched by Violent Hosnian Refugee Mob

The Benefits of Increased Refugee Head Tax as Proposed by State Councilor 

Ongoing Central-Market Riots Set Historical Buildings on Fire

Capital to Enhance Core and Mid Rim War Refugee Screening Process

Refugees and Low Wage Local Workers Suspected of Collusion and Sedition

Riot Participants Arrested and Assigned to Indefinite Salt Mining

Union Leaders Volunteered for Accelerated Cancer Research

Bio-Pharm Stocks Up 3%

The news were ever so interesting the whole next week.

“Wouldn’t raise a hand against your well-acquainted, ever so kind old coot hmm?” Ben commented over Hux’s shoulder at the headlines.

“One of my father’s old acquaintances, actually. He did prefer me over other cadets. Extracurricular lessons and all. Sadly secret government pardons aren’t worth a damn to regular people with grudges deep enough. But our futures remain perfectly bright, and our hands perfectly clean.” So saying, Hux dipped a finger into his rich custard desert.

“Oh of course, clean enough to eat off of.” Ben scooted forward. Now if only he could figure out how to manifest a digestive system solidly enough. It’s a very nice custard.


	57. ex - Obligatory Nonsense Crossdressing Episode 3

Meanwhile somewhere away from the bakery cafe:  
"How **𝗱𝗶𝗱** you track us through 3 star systems?"


	58. Recruitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at what I’ve traded for space goat cheese!

“Hello little baby,” Kaity bent down to talk at the toddler who ran into her legs.

“Sorry Missus,” the xeno Trach was talking to rolled up. He extended one long arm and grabbed the child by an ear. “Stop bothering our important customers, brat.”

“Oh no, no bother at all. She is a very cute child.”

“Cute doesn’t pay the bills. Stupid Refugee resettlement program. All the government knows is to take money and dump their problems on us hard working honest folks.”

“Refugee resettlement?”

“Yeah, supposedly its parents were from Whose-nian Prime, Hosenip? Anyway Hos what’s it or other. Some fancy Core place that blew up in one of them quasi-religious wars. Freeloaders the bunch of them. Got shipped here by Central. Died before they can pay off their first month’s rent in full to me.” What the man did not mention was how he helped himself to the deceased couple’s meager belongings.

“Now I am stuck with their brat. Hey you’ve got working kids with you. Want to buy another one? Real cheap.” He pointed at Clips and It’s-Unpaid-Child-Labour, who were loading freshly purchased firearms onto their hover-scooter, and asked Kaity.

“Err sure. I’ve used up all my allowances for this month though. Say do you like goat cheese?”

\--

“Another one KT?” Hux looked at their newest addition hiding behind Kaity’s legs, exasperated. “Is this one even healthy?”

“Yes Sir. She was fully screened and fulfilled all the medical parameters, Sir. And look, she has the same hair as you and Techie! Now we just have to sanitize her.”

“Kaity has also discovered a new trade opportunity for our surplus cheese, Sir,” Trach said from the sidelines.

\--

“Meditating in the garden, Hux?” Ben appeared next to the ex-General, who was, of course, too good to sit directly on the grass.

“A change in scenery. There is no meditating through that,” Hux pointed at the group of screaming children (to be completely fair, they were merely boisterous) assigned to bio deck livestock care duties.

“You’ve only got yourself to blame you know, picking up refugee younglings and child slaves. Are you perhaps…” Feeling guilty now that you have met the people you’ve only seen as statistics from a sterile warship deck? Ben did not give that question voice.

“Am I perhaps in need of more staff? Yes. We are running with one sixth the regular adult crew size for a Star Destroyer of this class despite steady requisitions over time. The facilities here are meant for Stormtrooper trainees numbered at least thirty times more than the children we have at hand, and that is including Engrell’s initial group of three hundred, any younger FO stragglers, and previously unaffiliated child refugees and slaves picked up along the way. We currently have the capacity to take on additional dependents, and would indeed benefit from them in the near future. In fact the older children are already being graduated into the regular crew. And now that they are under my proper guidance, even the younger ones are moderately useful for simple, routine tasks such as this.” Hux gestured at the children, who waved back at him enthusiastically.


	59. x - Kyluxpositivity 2020 II

**Day 1: Chancellor/Supreme Leader & Power Dynamics**

Partings.  


**Day 2: “You Were Just Nearby” & Opposites Attract**

"Kept me alive for paperwork?"

"Hmm."  


**Day 3: Hard Kylux & Soft Kylux**

A cat most cuddly and forgiving. Just like her human.  


**Day 4: “Summer Romance” + “First Kiss”**

Hux in a quest for fish head soup ingredients. A man most prepared to ward off pests from buzzing insects to a touchy-feely ghost.  


**Day 5: Fix-Its & Exiled Kylux**

B Solo: “Soooooo… Long story short, I’m Ben now. Nice to meet you.”

Everyone Else: “Are You For Real?”  


**Day 6: Chandrila vs. Arkanis & Exploring New Worlds**

"And what do you have in that bucket?"

"Plants from my home world, a gift for your mother the Lady Senator."

"Pfft, as expected from a backwards bumpkin planet."

It was in that very moment, that one Armitage has decided to make a certain Padawan brat’s life as uncomfortable as possible.  
Some even say it was one of the key motivations that drove him to become the Senator of Arkanis, a thorn on the side of the new Jedi council.  


**Day 7: Roleswap & Alternate Universes**

How dare the Force not choose me.

=====

“Do not be afraid, I am here to take you back to your father’s people." 

The young man with a dead man’s eyes simply stared back, all the way into the depth of Ben’s soul.  



	60. Hucks the Explorer - Passing By

Just passing by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://5ovspades.tumblr.com/image/622631167813877760


	61. Hucks the Explorer - Award

Award for best space goat cheese.  
AKA the moment Hux realized his life has completely derailed beyond all salvaging. People tried to name the cheese after him, but stopped shortly after he threatened to shoot them all.


	62. New Cup

A new cup from the children.


	63. THAT Outfit

“I didn’t invest in these brats for three years just to get robbed!”

Disgusting slug, Hux thought as he wiped the alien’s viscous blood off his face. The explosion of three years worth of accumulated stress finally temporarily abating as he stabbed downward one last time with his cane. Three whole years feeding useless hungry mouths, writing up a whole new curriculum, answering the incessant why, why, why’s, marking assignments, milking a goat! And this Hutt thought they could just slither right by and steal some trained labour stock out of his hands.

\--

"Ohhh Mitaka, you are here to save me!"

"Errr actually no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very disguise much blend in.  
> 


	64. In Transit




	65. New Neighbors

“You are not from around here are you, human?” 

“We are settlers. Fleeing from recent conflicts around the Core systems.”

“Welcome, fellow refugees. My ancestors once upon a time had fled the Core systems and its insane religious wars too. A friend of my son's is a friend of mine.”

\--

The not quite retired old marauder and one of the worst war criminals of his generation smiled at each other, an understanding reached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ Diplomatic Millie!


	66. Other People Going on Dates

“Dopheld friend, your ship looks like a very large slice of space flatbread. Very pretty.”

“Eh, thank you?”

“I’ve noticed you like tall, powerful men, Dopheld friend. Worry not, Mama said all the fully matured Zabrak men she’d met were very tall and strong, accidental amputations notwithstanding. I am yet young with plenty of room for growth, and will one day inherit Mama’s full responsibilities.”


	67. No Retirement

“What will you do now, Hux?” Ben floated up next to the General on his porch chair. “The Republic thinks you dead. Your loyalists and affiliate gangs keep you supplied with funds and firepower. The Children worship the ground you walk on, and the local council no less charmed. You have the influence you’ve always wanted. And you are free.”

“Free?” Hux scuffed. “A man is never free from his duties and ambitions, Ren. If all goes well, I will be voted in as the next head of the Far Reach Trade Coalition. In my opinion, this little organization needs significant expansion in both scope and firepower to live up to its name. The Wild Space, Ren. All of its untapped resources! It could become another hub to rival the old Core worlds!”


End file.
